Friday, October 22, 2010

Pass Pass Pass YES!!

The following post is not wedding related. It is from my journal entry of when I found out I passed the bar exam and finally acquired esquire. See post below for related entries.
I passed the Florida Bar Exam!!!

I checked my number 3 times, and the number I sometimes confuse my number with- passed! I'm suprised I passed both parts, but happy!

I was in the hallway and didn't really get to jump and scream like I wanted to because, well I was in a courthouse, but I was screaming on the inside.

I'm happy for everyone!

By the way, a couple of days later I got my scores and was suprised by them too. I got a 147 on Florida and a 161 on the MBE! Seriously, a 161. As far as I know, most of my friends did better than me on Florida but I haven't heard of anyone getting higher than me on the MBE yet. Not like it matters, but when you seriously think that you failed like I did and you end up getting a 161- it makes you feel pretty good.

Congrats to everyone who passed, and good luck in February for those who did not. I have faith that all of you will pass the second time around.

Day Before Bar Results

The following post is not wedding related. This bar is from my journal entry taken the day before bar exam results are posted. I thought it would be helpful to all the future bar examiners out there.

Tomorrow is the big day! I'm so nervous, I really don't want to know but work is making us check the second they come out. Literally. They have told us that we can't wait until the end of the day, or when we get back from court. When they are posted, we have to leave the courtroom and go check. Borrow someone's iphone but check. They will come by our courtrooms to make sure we checked. And then we have to let them know. I get it, but I want to be able to check it when I am ready. For the past month or so I've been slowly convincing myself that maybe I passed. Or at least maybe I passed one part. I've been doing a little bit of math each day- well if I got a 60 on this essay, and a 50 on this one, and a 50 on this one, that may be like 15 or 20 more than I needed to pass the essay section so that can help me on the multiple choice....

I've even been convincing myself that failure is okay, because it totally is. I only learn from things after I fail from them, but I just really don't want to fail. I really don't want to have to pay for another hotel room and take time off work and go through the embarrassment because everyone at work will know that I'm the one who failed. Plus, I didn't finish all the Kaplan assignments because that would be impossible, but I wonder if I can still get the free course for February.

No reason in worrying about the free class yet. Everything will be seen tomorrow.

Well I failed the bar exam. See you in February!

The following post is not wedding related. This post is from my journal entry after the bar exam. I felt that it may be helpful to all the future bar examiners out there.

Well, I studied all summer for nothing. Seriously nothing. I studied, every single day, all summer for nothing. I feel disgusting and worthless and stupid and just dumb. Part of me wants to be sane and say "Well, you did everything you could and thats all you can ask for" or "everyone feels like they failed afterwards" or my favorite "statistically, most people passed". Well dammit, none of that helps me. I dont believe myself when I say it. It's funny because after the essays on Tuesday we were all at lunch saying "well at least it's multiple choice in the afternoon! Narrow it down to 2 and thats a 50/50 chance right there". Well ha! Florida multiple choice was such a crap shoot. I could have written the Kaplan book and still not have gotten one right. I actually started to get super upset in the middle of it because I wanted my money back. It was like someone giving me a picture of a woman and asking me to memorize everything about the picture all summer- and I do. And then on test day they ask me what color her bra strap was. Wha? I can't see her bra strap! No one knows that. I could have been that woman and not have known that. Seriously Florida bar examiners?! Seriously!!! I'm hoping the essays save me as far as Florida is concerned. I think I knocked the trusts essay out the park and thankfully I reviewed that bar poins book the day before or else I wouldn't have done as well as I probably did on the homestead tax question.

The MBE was worse than the Kaplan PMBR final. I didn't think that was possible. On the first Kaplan practice MBE I got a 126 raw. On the extra practice MBE I got a 129. But then I got a 99 on the final- when the average was 110. That was horrible, but the MBE was horribler- that's a word now by the way. I just made it up.

The first part wasn't so bad. I came out for lunch and questioned why some of my friends were in a daze and weren't talking to anyone. Like, it wasn't that bad. I would even call the first half fair. But the second half was the worst thing ever. I second guessed everything. I had more than enough time, which was good but I wasn't sure about any answer. I went back and forth on everything and I would be suprised if I even got 30 right on the 2nd half. Con Law, which was my best practice subject, was the worst. So if I can't rely on Con Law to help me out then I guess I failed.

I even cried in the hotel lobby walking out. People immediately started drinking and celebrating and I was just standing there crying. I've been so depressed the past 2 days. I never knew what depressed felt like, but spending all summer just to fail at something got me there. I swear, the bar exam has been like a horribly abusive relationship. I hate it but I need it so I'll keep going back I guess. It will keep playing mind games with me, but I already invested so much time and effort so I'll stick with it until it beats me again, and again, and again.

Ugh, At least Tampa is nice in February.

On a related note, here is a video to help you get through the bar. It's a great song and true too. All your feelings are normal!

The day before the bar exam

The following post is not wedding related. This post was originally part of my journal. I wrote this the day before the bar exam. I'm posting it because I think it would be helpful to future bar takers out there.

I'm not even sure how to feel right now to be honest. I've studied all summer so I should feel okay I guess but I don't. I did okay on 2 practice exams but totally failed the final. I'm not sure what to think. I spent today going through the bar points book one last time. I wish I could say that I was learning new stuff but the stuff I know I know, and the stuff I don't I don't. I hate property, like always. I hate contracts, like always. Evidence is horrible just because I keep confusing federal and florida rules. My friends are getting sick of me and my constant fail talk but I can't help it. I know statistics. I'm on blogs all the time. I want to know that what I'm feeling is normal and for the most part it is. I'm getting 60% on practice exams and I guess that is normal, but I can't break 70% on anything. What if tomorrow I cant get to 60%? Ugh. Maybe my problem is that I don't feel comfortable with the MBE. I know I will do fine on the essays but the MBE is horrid. I am just not strong enough in most of the subjects.

Well I'm going to try to watch something on TV that is non-law related. Good luck to me tomorrow!!!! I can do it.

I must be a trend maker

So you've seen my dress, but have you seen this Reem Acra design? It's from the 2011 collection.

I don't know....looks kind of familiar. Of course, I think mine is better!

We got married!

I finally married the guy who makes me feel like Christmas. It was great. My feet hurt and SanFrancisco was frrrreeezzzing, but it was wonderful to marry this man.

I don't have any pictures yet. Since it was just the two of us and our photographers, we have to wait but I do have a picture to show--- its the only picture I have for the time being. It's me and my dream dress. I love it so much. I shortened the dress to a mini skirt and got some leopard pumps. It was so 80's and so me.

Isn't it grand? I felt so beautiful that day- even if I really wasn't, I felt it. And everyone we passed said congrats and told me how beautiful I looked, how great my dress looked. People were even taking pictures of us!! We took pictures in the market and crowds gathered and started taking pictures of us- which was kind of cool. Every now and then I search to see if maybe I can find any of those pictures out there somewhere. All in all it was a great experience. We got married, and then went to IHOP. Great day I say.

Wedding dress panic

My last wedding dress post was about how I wanted to get a dress made that was inspired by a Stephen Yearick design. Well, I found this picture of Jackie Collin's wedding and my gears just started turning. Jackie Collins got married in England's version of a city hall so it totally fits with my whole city hall elopment. I love the long in the back, short in the front mullet look. I've seen it done wrong before but this is so right. I love how modest it is.

So I decided to find a dressmaker and get started. I wanted a long sleeved crew neck dress, off white-ish in color, with the same general shape as Jackie's dress. I wanted a drop waist instead because I know my body and while I love my shape, I would look wide if the waistline was at my actual waist. A drop waist would make me look thinner. Instead of the flowers that Jackie has all over her dress, I would want the embroidery similar to the Stephen Yearick design I talked about before, and to incorporate the Stephen Yearick even more, I wanted the triangular edging to be the edging on my dress too. That dress sounds amazing doesn't it? If I had a second wedding I would have that dress made. In fact, If I had anything- big gala, ball, whatever, I would have a dress like that made. I may even do it anyway- in black or a gold or something just because it sounds that amazing to me.

Well, as you can tell from that little tangent- I didn't get that dream dress made. I found a dressmaker. In fact, I found 3. 2 of whom were online and 1 was local. Because this is Miami, the local dressmaker's English wasn't that great and I just didn't want to go through the hassle of having to explain and re-explain something as important as my wedding dress. I've been here long enough to know that the important details often get lost in translation. So I decided against her.
Then I found a couple dressmakers through etsy, but because of my timeline, I decided on one in particular whose work looked amazing. Just in case, I found someone else as well who had been in the dressmaking business for years- she wasn't through etsy though. Anywho, both of these people fell through. The problem is that I had finally decided on the etsy dressmaker. I had made arrangements as to price, timeline, fabric, everything and about 6 weeks prior to my wedding she informed me that she couldn't do the dress because she was swamped.

Of course I freaked out! Like I was in a super super panic. At this point I couldn't go find another dressmaker to make this dream dress for me. I almost cried thinking about how I was going to have to go into a David's Bridal or something like that and just choose a dress off the rack. I looked online at Nordstrom for white dresses. I even tried looking into my original suit idea. I started googling "mullet wedding dress" for something maybe somewhat close to my dream dress- maybe I could find a long sleeved white dress and have it cut into that shape, without the edging and embroidery. This idea seemed somewhat plausible but it is hard to find long sleeved wedding dresses nowadays. Luckily there are mormon wedding dress shops that have dresses like these, but none were what I wanted.

Then I decided that maybe vintage was the way to go. By the way, all these thoughts and searches were within a 1 hour time span- I was in super panic mode. I was even snapping at my husband because I was so worried.

Anywho, so I decided to look at vintage dresses and that's where I found my beauty of a dress. I found a site called They have lots of vintage pieces and a small gallery of wedding dresses. Here is my dress as shown on the site:

Amazing right? It has all the elements of a dream dress for me. It's not the exact one I had in mind, but to me it was like fate. I always say everything happens for a reason, and this was proof. This dress is cute, long sleeved, vintage, 80's, unique, has a tulip thingie going on, me perfectly with no alterations needed. Actually that part isn't true, the bust was a little off, but for the most part, I didn't have to do anything. I wanted to though and Oh, I did. I shortened that dress to a mini skirt! It was the perfect wedding dress. So my wedding dress nightmare which occured over the course of an hour turned into perfection.
Anything like that ever happen to you?