Monday, May 18, 2009

Change of Plans

I'm finally done with finals which means that I am officially a 3L. Whoop Whoop! 1 more year to go and I am officially out of this beast.

But.....I have exciting news. We are "eloping" and buying a house instead of having a wedding. My mom suggested we just take the money instead, couple that with the 8K tax credit for first time buyers and ta da!- buy a house. And just like that we rolled with it. HGTV has become my new favorite channel- I get why my mom watches it all the time. We've been looking at houses so far I have only found "lukewarm" like. I wont settle, and if we don't find the house we want this year then we just keep looking until we do. The good thing though is that wedding planning didn't take away all my creativity. I have came up with a million things I want to do to my house. Install hardwood floors, paint a faux-wood garage door, have a reddish brown front door, make slip covers for my huge couch, make mirrored art deco style dressers...It seems like a lot but luckily I am marrying a man who actually knows how to do stuff, and sew. Amazing! Him and his dad re-did their kitchen themselves and re-tiled the entire pool area- not just the pool. This blog may turn into that adventure.

I found a place that I want to get married at and the MR. has agreed that it would be perfect. Even my mom agrees. So where? San Fransisco City Hall! It is absolutely gorgeous and I already bought a dress- the "Julianne" from J.Crew. Plus, California allows you to get a confidential wedding license which means no one can look at it unless they have a court order. In this day of identity theft something like that is worth getting. We still plan on taking engagement pictures though so I will upload them in Novemeber or so, because that is when we are doing them. Our wedding will turn into a wedding + mini honeymoon. And then we will have a reception/graduation party/ housewarming party when my family is in town for my law school graduation--- the one that is only a year away! Whoo hooo!

As for the date, we aren't sure. There are really only 2 times of the year where it can be done- Winter or Spring Break. I'm leaning more towards Spring though just because of how pretty it is in the San Fran area.

But first we have to have the house. :)

Monday, May 4, 2009

If only I had 8 treadmills

The song "Here it Goes Again" by OK go has been a favorite of mine for a while but what really made me think of it today was because I was thinking of "first dance" songs for me and the Mr. I can dance because luckily the black side of me contributed enough to give me rhythm. The Mr. on the other hand is stereotypically white- he even claps off beat, and I really just hate dancing with him. Yes, I said hate. I love love to dance, but it becomes a chore to do it with him. I've tried working with him before but nothing ever improves so I have come to the conclusion that for our first dance we either:
a) don't do a dance which is a high high probability;
b) use someone else to dance with which is a not going to happen even though I've gotten offers because the first dance is supposed to be with me and the Mr. I may not agree with half of the wedding hoopla in the industry but that is one I subscribe to. Other dances, yes or maybe, but not the first dance; or
c) pick a song and dance that has a non-traditional way of dancing. And with that choice comes this song, this video, and this dance. I would jump at doing it in a heartbeat and I already know at least 6 people I could count on to do it with me even though all I need are 2. Plus, the Mr. agrees that it would be pretty awesome. Too bad Rock the Reception isn't on anymore because that would have been awesome to do. I wonder how I would get 8 treadmills on my own anyway, and what reception site would actually let me do it? Hmmmmm......

What type of dancing are you doing for your first?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

You're so sweet!

The Mr.: "you're starting to sound more like a lawyer everyday" (in an insulting tone)

Me: "Aww, hunny! That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me"

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Sign, Sealed, Delivered.... I'm Yours

Long Distance relationships are hard, or so I hear. For the first 4 1/2 years of our relationship, me and the Mr. were long distance lovers. When we met he lived an hour away and we would sometimes meet in the middle and spend the day together or take turns spending the week or weekend with each other. After a year, he moved another hour further away for school and we saw each other maybe once a month. The next year, he moved back but I moved 5 hours away from him for law school and during that first year we saw each other only 3 or 4 times.

So how did we make it work? Compromise, communication and understanding.

Compromise- Everything we did during our long distance relationship was a compromise, because it needed to be. We took turns traveling to see the other, splitting up the holidays we spent with which family, and compromised on anything else that either of us felt was important.

Communication- Communication is key to any healthy and successful relationship and we always made sure that we took time out to have enough of it. We got on the same family plan for our phone (the ultimate commitment) so that we could call each other at any time and we took full advantage of it, or at least I did. I knew I could call him at any time, day or night, and just talk so it was like he was there even though we were physically apart. We talked to each other every night for maybe 3-4 hours. There was always something to talk about- news, politics, tourists, scientific theories,us,our favorite show Heroes- and it helped me get to know more about him as a person and his views on the world.

I also took to writing him letters while he was in school. Everyday I would take time out to write a letter at at the end of the week. I would decorate an envelope and mail it out. He still has all those letters and refuses to throw them out. As I read over them I realize how diverse the topics of those letters were- ranging from the ridiculous to the profound.

Understanding- We both understood that there was nothing at the time that we could do to be physically closer to one another and we also understood that we were willing to work to make this relationship succeed. Once we understood that it seems like everything else followed perfectly from that. To be honest, this relationship hasn't been real "work" because I love him so much and there is nothing hard about that.

Long distance is normal for us so when it came time for us to move in together last year I wasn't sure it would work. I've seen relationships take a turn for the worse when a couple moves in together mainly because they just don't work as roommates. Surprisingly, we are great roommates, bunk buddies, whatever you want to call it. We mesh well. He does all the cooking, I, laundry? Plus, we are great parents and realize that that little boy is the most imporant person in the house.

As I get ready to graduate I'm forced with the realization that I may end up moving away from him if I get a job elsewhere. Of course, I don't want that but with the economy the way that it is and the area of law I want to practice it is a very real and plausible possibility. We have talked it over and if need be we are willing to be a long-distance married couple until the time comes for one of us to move to the other. It isn't ideal of course but in the words of Tim Gunn, we will "make it work".

To go along with my long-distance post, I thought "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's would fit as my Song of the Week.

Have you ever been at a distance from your love? How did you make it work?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Lip Venom

As I write this my lips are tingling. Do you want to know why? Of course you do.
I have been on a quest for thicker, fuller, zexy lips ever since I've realized how inadequate mine are. Thankfully, I don't have super thin lips so I have something to build on but they aren't anything special.

I've learned how to put on liner and gloss in such a way to make your pout appear fuller but I want them to be bigger without needles or surgery. I decided to try DuWop's lip venom to see if maybe, just maybe, there was something behind all the hype. I found that there wasn't much there.

Here is what DuWop says about their product: "Lip Venom is formulated with a blend of essential oils, including cinnamon, wintergreen and ginger which cause the blood to rush to the surface of the lips, flushing and swelling them slightly. It also contains jojoba and avocado oil to hydrate and leave an intense shine".

I put it on and well, nothing happened. It's supposed to give you a bee-sting look and maybe it did, I dunno. It made my lips appear bigger but it had no actual plumping effect. To be honest, I could have stuck with my lip liner and gloss combo and gotten the same effect, especially considering the $15 price tag.

Will I keep it? Yes because I like the stinging sensation and also because the Mr. likes it. He doesn't know why but I think it makes him think of sex. I say that because almost anything can make a man think of sex.

What lip plumpers have you tried?

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Destination Bachelorette Party

I took an absolutely horrendous final yesterday and still have another one and a paper to go, but I missed you and what better way to show you my love than to talk about myself some more?

I know we've all heard of the destination wedding and the destination honeymoon but how about the destination bachelorette party? My MOH came up with the idea and suggested it to me and I was surprised and excited all at the same time. I never really considered having a bachelorette party. I just figured I would put on a veil, sash, and go out to a club on South Beach with a group of friends and we would just call it a bachelorette party. My MOH also lives in DC so I didn't actually expect her to plan anything but I was so happy that she thought about it, especially considering the fact that I didn't ask her to be by MOH- I more or less told her that she was going to be my MOH and let her figure out the acronym on her own.

We passed ideas back and forth. She thought New Orleans would be a great place and I agreed considering we had gone 2 years before and loved it so much, but thinking of my friends in law school, the ones who were the most current friends in my life, I realized that it wouldn't be such a great idea. It could work- but its our last year and I doubt any of them would want to travel to New Orleans to party especially when we live in Miami and everyday is an excuse to party around here.

Next idea was a three day cruise. I thought of this for simplicity reasons only- we could leave out of Miami and I would miss at the most 2 days of school. We would go in September or October when missing a day of school isn't that big of a deal and I can work on getting my pale white white legs tan before the wedding. This would be easier for all my law school chicas as well. Only problem, September and October are both during Hurricane Season and all I can think about is Murphy's Law.
We haven't figured out yet where this three-day cruise will go to though. I'm just excited that I finally have a reason to get a passport- I'm going to start practicing for my picture right away!

Are there any destinations in your wedding planning future?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Guest List Drama

Nothing I am about to say will surprise you. In fact, it is probably lame compared to all the other drama the rest of you are experiencing. Hello, My name is gotyoumypretty I have guest list drama.

Everything with the guest list was perfect until about a month ago. I had always planned to have a wedding with 50 guests maximum. I had allotted 10 guests for the Mr. because he always made it seem like that is all he needed. What did I learn a month ago that changed all that?

You may ask yourself how could this be? Yeah, go ahead and ask yourself that. It doesn't make much sense. How can a guy of 24 years old not know who is in his own family?
It's not like I haven't asked before. I have asked many many times before. A normal conversation about his family usually goes like this:

Me: So do you have any cousins other than T, A, and C?
The Mr.: Uh, I think so.
Me: Ooh, who are they?
The Mr.: Yeah, I don't know
Me: Well have you ever met them before?
The Mr.: Yeah Yeah Yeah. I just don’t remember their names
Me: Oh, well who are they related to then. Like who's side and who's kid.
The Mr: My mom's side but I'm not sure which aunt. I think my Aunt S had a kid that’s my age. Don't remember.
Me: Who is this Aunt S? How come I've never heard of her before?
The Mr.: She lives somewhere else, like up north somewhere.

By the end of this I am just exhausted and all family conversations go that way. I can name at least my aunts and uncles, their children, and my great aunts and uncles- past that point it gets shaky just because in my family at least every family friend is considered an Aunt or an Uncle.

A month ago though at my FSIL's wedding I had to add 6 more people to the list of the Mr.'s allotted people. People I had no clue had ever existed. Of course when I confront him about this his response is " Well yeah. You have to invite them- they're family!"
I finally wrote out the final guest list and had him approve it so that we could move on with this part of our life.

Other drama? Yes Of course. Friends of mine from school are being asked to be invited or at least already talking like they are invited. I'm even having guests suggest other people that I should invite. The reality of it is that I can't invite them although I would love it for everyone I have ever met or been friends with could come it is just not possible. The funny and most frustrated thing about that is that people don’t understand! Amazing. They have tried to make me feel bad about not inviting them or so and so. Thankfully I don't feel bad easily and am the opposite of super sensitive or else I would have some problems.

Have you had any guest list drama? How did you resolve it?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Bubble Veil & Big Hair

The 80's get no love in wedding planning. Everyone wants to go back to the 60's, 40's, or roaring 20's but where are the 80's at? The 80's were fabulous. New Kids on the Block, neon everything, Saved by the Bell, polka dots, shoulder pads---why wouldn't anyone want to go back? Okay, I get why no one would want to go back, but I want to in at least one way-- BIG HAIR! I saw a bubble veil used in a J. Crew catalog and fell in love. The model had slicked back hair but the Mr. hates my hair pulled back so I knew he wasn't going to let me get away with wearing my hair in an updo. I asked and his response was? "Don't you want me to look at you and be happy that I'm marrying you?" Ouch, but he's right. I have my hair pulled back every single day. It doesn't start off that way but the Florida humidity has my hair in a ponytail 10 minutes after I walk out the door. If I can't do an updo with my bubble veil then I am going to be super dramatic and have Super Big Voluminous Hair- inspired by the 80's but tamed by sanity. The problem? I don't know how great it will look on me.

My hair is thick so I know my hair will work but my face is very classic in the sense that it is boring. I don't know if I can pull off big hair primarily because it looks best on people who have at least one dominant feature. I have no dominant features- like none. My parents' genes got together and decided it would be best if they split everything down the middle, thus equaling out all features of my face. Plus, I'm not a female version of a hustler, of a hustler, of a hustler- I'm no Diva. If I was, my attitude alone would be adequate to fulfill all my big hair dreams and pull It off well.

I have a couple of days after my exams to rest and during that time I will make clip in hair extensions and do a hair trial. I'll post instructions and pictures of the clip-in hair extension making and application process but until then I'll leave you with pictures of my hair inspiration: Dior hair, Keesha Sharp, Aisha Tyler, and an awesome hair model. Last picture: First Lady of Cameroon Chantal Biya-- a little too crazy for me.

What is your wedding hair? What was the inspiration behind it?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The quicker makeup taker offer- Vaseline!

I may be the last person on Earth who knew this but did you know that Vaseline is superior at taking off lipstick and eye makeup. While in DC we went to a couple of parties. One was just way too loud and the other was artsy where all the guests had to make something out of peeps, the marshmallow Easter candy. What did I make? Well nothing. I was lame and my friends were my peeps. Lame peeps- get it? Rrriight.

Anywho, we came home late and I slept in my makeup. I know, I know it is a big no no but I do it all the time. The problem is that I had trouble getting it off the next morning. Usually just washing my face is enough and maybe a little soap will help but for whatever reason my eyeliner was caked on. Then my other mother suggested Vaseline and all my problems went away. I just put a little on each eye, wiped it off, and clean eye. Plus, it has the added effect of preventing eye wrinkles. Of course I did no research to come up with that conclusion as I just based it off of the fact that my other mother, the suggester, is 61 and has a very small amount of wrinkles around her eyes.

Something else I learned about makeup this week: Lipstick that is supposed to last all day, like Cover Girl Outlast, will come off with greasy foods- which is my primary food group.

What common item beauty secrets have you discovered?


What invitation idea did I choose? Well I'm not telling you just yet. But I'll give you clues.

- It is something related to or involving the law.
- The invitation will be screen printed onto handkerchiefs.

The best part about this invitation idea is the price. I can make the handkerchief's myself even though I don’t have a sewing machine and will probably have to outsource it. Even with the outsourcing, my estimation is that it will cost a $1.61 per person and that is with postage. I don't have a Gocco but have learned of a lot of other ways to screen-print including something called EZ screen print. I'll test out everything before I commit but my family loves the idea. In fact, my mother has told every customer who walks in her shop about it and every family member she has talked to in the last 2 months- so it will only be a surprise to you and the Mr.'s family.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Not Invitations Part IV: Invitation Books

I like to read or at least I used to before casebooks started taking over my shelves, and floors, and car…you get the idea. I came across the idea of invitation books and thought they were A-mazing. Like seriously, who wouldn't love to get this? I know I would.
This invitation book, as I found on the knot, was made by the happy couple themselves. They had a cute story and used it to tell their story in book form. It makes me wish I had a cute story. I could always make one up right?- Yes, I know I can't do that.

The next invitation book is my favorite mainly because it is much more laid back and low key. If you click the title of my post it will take you to the flash version of their invitation. Their invitation book has bio information about the bride, groom, how they met, and the proposal then it comes with a map and tear-out RSVP card.

So did I choose it? Uh-uh. Nope. I am 8 months away from my wedding and can't even start to prepare my brain to get ready for such a project. Plus, I have no real talent or talented friends who can do this for me. I really wish this idea was meant for me, but my gut tells me it is not. I am jealous though of all the people who can and will pull this off. I would love to get this in the mail, although I will probably end up white-outing the bride and grooms name and inserting my own. Yes, I know it's wrong but at least I'm honest.

Did you have any invitation ideas that were way over your head?

Not Invitations Part III: Candy Box Invitations

Did you know that back in the old and golden days guests at lavish European weddings would go home with something called a bonbonniere? It was made out a metal or porcelin and filled with some sort of sugary confection. This was considered the ultimate decadent wedding favor because sugar was both rare and expensive. Well it only makes sense that I would want to give my guests something sweet and decadent even though sugar isn't as rare and expensive as it used to be. Plus, I have a sweet tooth and this is just another excuse to buy candy and make my dentist look at me with that disapproving face once again.

The only idea I have truly been married to during this long engagement has been the candy box. I love lollies (or rock candy for those of you who throw shrimp on barbies). In New York there is Pappabubble and here in FL we have Sugar Sugar. Both of these places sell lollies and personalize them. They are pretty expensive if personalized but the taste is so so worth it.

My idea, as taken from this picture I found on project wedding, was to put the lollies on the bottom with my invitation sitting on top- only separated by a piece of tissue paper. My invitation though was going to be traditional folded card- the actual invitation wording would be on the front, the back of that side would be directions and website information, and the other part of that card would detach and become a RSVP postcard with room for comments and dinner preference.

At first I had worries that the candy would melt but I'm not mailing these babies out until November so I quickly dismissed that concern. I talked it over with the man, he liked. Mother though was not amused because of course, she thought it would cost too much money. In reality, it would cost a lot of money. Mailing would be the least expensive part, around $1 each to mail. The candy would be the most expensive regardless of me getting it personalized or not. Plus I had to consider boxes, tissue paper, and the cost of making the invitation cards.

I considered switching candies but couldn't find anything else I really liked. I'm not a fan of jellybeans and can't actually see people eating them. I took a trip to the Sweet Factory in the mall and although they had some things that would fit the bill, nothing compared to the lollies. Are you starting to see how picky I am? Yeah, once I am set on something I am set and nothing can change or else it becomes ruined. I'm working on that though, along with my patience.

Then, I watched an episode of Martha Stewart. She made jeweled heart cookies with these NY women who have an online shop called The Jewels of NY.* They made some cookies that looked so good. See the picture below, ummm…how good do those look?

So yeah, I thought maybe I could make the cookies, put them in cute bags, and put them in the box instead. I'm not super confident in my baking skills though but when it comes to sending pretty cookies in the mail I could care less what they taste like- all I care about is that they are pretty.

So did I choose it? Eh, I don't know yet but I think expense alone of boxes is slowly starting to scare me away. Plus, I have at least 3 more months before I really have to start stressing about it.

Are you adding anything sweet to your wedding planning?

*Beware of ye old google search results. There is also an escort agency by the same name.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Not Invitations Part II: Paperboard CD case & booklet

My second invitation idea quickly came and went. Since I'm a big lover of music and feel like the world would be enlightened or at least happily confused by listening to my eclectic playlist I thought that CD invitations would be great. For anyone out there who actually still buys CD's (hello? Is anybody out there?*), you know that many artists are using paperboard CD cases instead of the traditional jewel cases.

My idea was to print a booklet that would have my invitation, all the must-know wedding details inside, and a tear-out RSVP postcard. I would then screenprint or at least emboss some pretty design on the front of the paperboard cover and finish it with a awesome CD of old school songs by the some of greatest musicians of our day like Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, and McHammer.

Did I choose this invitation idea? Nuh-uh. I loved it but I wasn't in love with it you know. It wasn't the CD's fault, or the booklets fault for that matter. I just felt like I wasn't at the point in my life where I could put that much time into something I was unsure of. I was afraid of the commitment. In the end I know that it was the best decision for both me and all the Vanilli or Milli's of the world.

Have you tried to include something you love or a hobby into your invitations? How so?

*Yes, random Pink Floyd reference. If you don't know you better ask somebody. If they don't know, then neither one of you can be my friend. I'm sorry, that is just the way it has to be.

(picture is from bliss wedding market)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Not Invitations Part I: Photo Coasters

I decided that I would dedicate my next couple of posts to all my invitation ideas I have seriously considered along the way.

Back in December 2006, when I had just gotten engaged, I started looking at wedding favors and came across these glass coasters.

Then I had the idea of taking these glass coasters and using them as invitations instead. They come in packs of two and each pack costs a little over a dollar. The way I planned on using them was to take the top coaster and put one of our engagement pictures in and use the bottom coaster as the actual invitation. Then tie them together with a pretty box, put it in a box, and yay! Coaster. I love when people turn something I would have normally thrown away into something practical so I'm sure my guests would too. Imagine the excitement on their faces when they open the box and discover that my face is perfect for not only hot, but cold beverages. No more ruined tables from drunk nights of beer pong spillage.

Did I choose this invitation idea? Well no. I decided the cost of mailing would be too much. For a while I considered using only one coaster as an invitation but I couldn't get excited about the idea anymore because it just wasn't as good as the original. Call me conceded but I need a picture of my face somewhere around there and it just couldn't be the same if my ugly mug wasn't enclosed in glass licking your Coke's condensation.

Did you have an idea for a practical invitation? What was it and did it work out?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Am I the only one....

Am I the only one who has no interest in seeing a movie just because it has a wedding in it? In fact, that is usually enough to keep me away from seeing a movie.

Just a thought. I can't be the only one though right?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

And you Shall Live Happily Ever After

I will be at the White House Easter Egg Roll for my Easter this year, well it is more like the day after Easter. I'm leaving way early and therefore I wont be able to post my usual Song of the Week on Friday, although lately it hasn't been so usual has it?
I really really love the movie Enchanted. It came out during finals of my 1L year when stress is at its highest. Me and my roomate went to see it right after our most ridiculous final. There were 6 people in the theatre because it was like 11am on a school day- me, my roomate, and 2 little girls with their 2 mothers. I don't know what it is but we walked out of that theatre in love with the world, completely forgetting the mind raping that took place three hours earlier.

We turned into the little girls. Actually, we were more little girls than those little girls. We went and ate sushi and everything was right in the world.

This song takes me back. I can't help but be happy when I hear it. I feel all pretty, and trust me, right now I am anything but pretty. Don't you just love what a good song can do for you?

Do you have any songs that instantly brighten your mood?

Wedding Videos 2.0

I have never really been a fan of the wedding video. Crazy, I know. I just can't see myself actually ever watching it again. I think of all the people I know who had a video and they haven't looked at it since they got it back from the videographer. The whole Super 8 movement is pretty cool but too expensive for little ol' me. Basically I just resigned myself to the idea of not having a wedding video and I was okay with that because I've never desired one.
That was until I saw this……

Ummm, Awesome! How much fun does that look. I want my mom to dress in all purple with an awesome little hat and claw like a tiger too! Why didn't I think of this before I thought of this? I don’t know but none of that matters now. All that matters is I thought of it and am doing it and it will be awesome because I am awesome. Aren't you jealous that you didn't think of it before I thought of it and youtubed it. Yeah?, it's okay- it happens.
I ran it by all my friends and my family and surprise!- they are all game. It just makes sense that I would do this type of thing because my idea of a workout is dancing in the mirror and making my own music video. I do it everyday, but don't judge me, I'm an only child and I have turned this into my "me" time.
As for the wedding music video, I picked a song.I have a concept in my head.I am ready to go.
…Well almost ready to go. I still don’t have a video camera or a videographer but I am hoping that I
a) Find one soon, for cheap;
b) Can get a local student at the Ringling School of Art to do it; or
c) Borrow or buy a camera and have everyone help shoot it

I'll keep you posted on which option we choose. Are you doing a little something different with your wedding video? Heck, are you even doing a wedding video?

Change, Change, Change

No, I'm not a panhandler but I will take some change if you have it.

Planning a wedding has changed me for sure. Most of my posts are about how I didn't like something and then I did. I didn't plan on having a wedding- and then I did. I didn't like pictures and then I did. I didn't like videos and then I did. Lets add one more thing to that list. I didn't like details and now I do.

When I was meeting with possible photographers I made it very clear that I could care less about my ring, shoes, flowers, the chairs, and the like. All I cared about were the people there- end of story, or so it was until I started buying things and making crap.

As I've started to accumulate more and more items that will just be used as decoration, I have also started to realize the error of my ways. Details are important! Why? Because I say so, and furthermore because they show just how much time and effort was put into this day. Obviously it is just more proof of how much this relationship means to me. Oh wedding! You should be ashamed of yourself- changing me the way that you do.

How has wedding planning changed you?

photo via zombie jar swap

Monday, April 6, 2009

Practicing the Dip

My FSIL was married a month ago and her husband dipped her as their first kiss. It was too cute and although me and the Mr. have been practicing the kissing part, the idea of a dip never entered my mind. As soon as I saw it I wanted to do it.
Then I was watching one of my all time favorite moves Enchanted and there was a wedding dip in there too- but backwards. The bride dipped the groom! Ummm...awesome. Yes, I thought a reverse dip would be perfect for us.
But no. I practiced with the Mr. and he sucks at dipping. He is as stiff as a board and I have come pretty close to breaking his neck during all of this. Going back and trying it the traditional way worked much much better so I guess that is what we will be doing.

What type of first kiss have you been practicing?

Monday, March 30, 2009

Aw, shucks!

Just as I was in the middle of writing about my precious venue, my mother calls and delivers bad news. We've been pushed out by people with "big money".

I'm sad.

That is all.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Found something for him to do

My guy has had only one task to do when it comes to this wedding: Sit there and look pretty, and agree with me when I ask for an opinion. I guess that's two things. The reason I took this approach is because he is genuinely not interested in any of this planning stuff. If it were up to him we would invite our parents to a courthouse and get it over with, or even better: fast forward to the wedding night. He almost ran off and got married to himself when he found out how much he would save on car insurance if he was married. I have kept my asking him for opinions at a minimum just because I get so frustrated with his lack of crazy-vision and inability to coordinate. However, I found something for him to do and am just so crazy about it.

He is very good at making things for me and this would be right up his alley. I found this on and instantly thought it was the greatest idea ever. The woman who did this included her invitation, scrap from her dress, pins from her bouqet, and a brooch that I beliieve was her grandmothers. I don't know where she got the 2006 sign but I like it.

I started to think of all the places I could put it and how perfect it was because it sums up the entire day in 2 shadow boxes, and since my current invitation plan is to screen print handkerchiefs it just added to my desire for him to make it. It is now on his to-do list and lucky for him, he has more than a year to git-er-done.

Now I only wish I wasn't such a minimalist. I have 9 months to change that- maybe a visit to J.Crew will spark it all.

What are you doing to preserve your wedding day?

Boudoir Inspiration

A little boudoir inspiration for your day. The beautiful and uber talented Emmy Rossum in the newest issue of Details magazine.

What inspires your boudoir photography?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'm back and ready to attack!

Well I am back, but not so ready to attack. My semester is coming to a close and it seems like everything is slowly starting to funnel into a big mess-final trial, preparing witnesses, 40 page papers with interviews to still conduct, volunteer committments, finals (AAAH!) so for the next 3-4 weeks I will post when I can but I am so excited to share all my ideas with you, and within the next month we will be sending out our save the dates so I can't wait to share that with you as well.

I found my venue also, but I'm a bad blogger and didn't get any pictures mainly because someone else was using it at the time and I didn't want to seem rude. More about the venue later.

Until next time kiddies!

Monday, March 16, 2009


The MR: We never decided on anything

Me: Yes, we did. We totally had that conversation

The MR: Yes, we had the conversation but nothing was decided.

Me: It so was! I even put it on my blog

The MR: Putting something on your blog does not make it true.

You make me feel like I am whole again

Since I just finished telling you all about Omaha, it only makes sense that todays song of the week would be by a Omaha band- 311. I love this song and have had more than 1 man sing it to me on occasion- Sorry Mr. Here you go, Love song by 311.

*If you love the original version by The Cure then the title of my post links to it.

Getting to Know You Honeymoon, Part 2

We decided on a getting to know you honeymoon! We will show each other our respective hometowns and what parts are important to us. I love this idea and so does the Mr. What better way to get to know each other than understand their past?

We have been together for 5 years and although we have heard all about our hometowns from each other, neither one of us has actually been to each others hometowns. I'm from Omaha and he is from a small town in New Jersey. We decided that I would take him to all my favorite places in Omaha and he could take me to his in Jersey, then we would swing by New York since I've never been and maybe, just maybe, take a train to Philly since I have always wanted to go. I am more excited about this trip than my wedding. I want to show him everything I love about Omaha, like the Henry Doorly Zoo!

I know the Mr. would love the aquarium because he is a fish lover, and as a kid, the jungle/ rain forest was always my favorite part.

Because we no longer own any winter clothes, not even a glove, we decided the best time to go would be in late July- early August after I take the bar exa which makes it the perfect time to go see a College World Series game or two- something I used to do every summer as a young'in.

And after the game we can have races down the slides.

We will then go swing over to the Old Market and eat outside, listen to the music, and browse around the cute shops- the bookstores of which are my favorite.

We have to eat while we are there so I plan taking him to my favorite of all favorite resturants ever- places of which I wish I could find anywhere else:
Joe Tess- best catfish ever- I dare you to find some place better.
King Fongs- best chinese food ever. EVER!
Sakura Bana (formerly Sushi Ichiban)- best sushi EVER EVER EVER! MMM...I have a sudden craving for a sasadango.
Ted & Wallys- classic Ice cream in huge waffle cones
Skeets BBQ- best barbeque sauce EVER! I want the recipe! Dangerous neighborhood so if you visit, you may want to skip it.
Little King- best sub shop EVER! This was my packed lunch on field trips.
Runza- fast food but a staple you can't leave Omaha without getting.
Lots of EVER's huh? That's because I mean it.

After eating Omaha out of house and home we can go relax with a boat ride at the Fountain.

And, I'm giving away a piece of my anonymity here, but we must swing by the Joslyn Art Museum or Joslyn Castle.

I was named after the Joslyn Art Museum because my parents had their first date there so even if the Mr. will hate it, he has to go to "my" museum with me. And even better if it's during Jazz on the Green- we can sit back, relax, and listen to some great music.

As for Jersey? I have no clue really what we would do. I know he wants to reconnect with friends so I'm excited about meeting them. The Mr. also talks about pizza places, his hangouts which were really random places, and his high school so I assume will we go to those- oh, and I want to see where he fell in a well at too.

Have you visited each others hometowns? What did you learn about each other?

Getting to Know You Honeymoon, Part 1

Me and the Mr. aren't the tropical kind of people. We live in Florida, but rather go canoeing in a river than playing in the beach.* Most people want to go some place exotic for their honeymoon- not us. We already live in paradise so going to the Carribean or Hawaii would be redunant. The only places I have ever really wanted to go are Cuba, Greece, and any place in Africa. Lately though I've added 3 other places to that list: France, London, and Germany. Cuba would be the easiest place to get to seeing as how I could practically swim to it, but I'm not Cuban and therefore the chances of me getting there without the laws changing are slim to none. I also try to stay as far away from swimming in the ocean as possible due to a near drowning experience as a child in the Pacific Ocean. The other places are off our list just because we don't have the money to go there.

Then we came up with another list: Camping, a dude ranch, rebuilding houses in New Orleans, or Disneyworld! Since Disneyworld is closest that will always remain a strong possibility plus I would love to stay in the hotel where giraffes walk right by your window. I'm too paranoid to go camping and would need 3 tazers and a gun just to get through the night. A dude ranch sounds nice but the packages I've seen have been too expensive. I love love love New Orleans. I could live there. There is something about the culture, the experience, the food, and the beignets! Sadly though, many of the parishes outside New Orleans have been neglected and a vast majority of it outside of the tourist regions have not been rebuilt. For my Spring Break 2 years ago I went to New Orleans with a group of 10 people from my school and we met up with a pretty huge group of kids from colleges across the country. We gutted houses and it was so worth it. I want to do it again and this time bring the Mr. I think it would be the perfect start to our lives together because I want to raise our children to think about others before themselves and I would like to volunteer religiously with my children as they grow and take these types of trips as a family more often.

What did we decide? See Part II.

*Note: Do not, under any circumstances, go in a river or lake in Florida- there are alligators and they will eat you.

Spring Break

Carmen SanDiego is back ladies and gentlemen. That's right, I'm going away for a while. I'm on Spring Break, have people to interview for a research project, am looking at wedding venues, and the FSIL is getting married Friday- so a busy busy week. Because of this, I am going to post this weeks post TODAY! I'll be back next week to fill you in and with pictures of venues.

Something Blue

I don't want a garter. Gasp! I know, I know, its a timeless tradition, blah blah blah. The idea of a garter and throwing it just seems dated to me. Although it used to be one of my favorite parts at weddings, I haven't seen anyone do it at the last couple of weddings I've been to and I didn't really miss it. To be honest, me and the Mr. just aren't garter throwing people. The problem I see in all of this is that I always figured my something blue would be on my garter, and now that I'm against all things garter (except the garter belt) I need to come up with something else that has my something blue.

I thought about maybe having my blue sewed into a part of my dress. The Mr. can sew so if I asked him to I'm sure he would do it and it would make my dress that much more special. I also thought about wearing these sapphire earrings I get compliments on everytime I wear them but quickly nixed that idea because I really want to wear my mothers diamond earrings as my something borrowed.

Then I made a polyvore board. Oh yes, I love playing around with it all. Did it give me any inspiration?- No, but again, it is pretty and that's all that matters. Actually, I really like the guys shoes pictured but I wont recommend them to the Mr. because they would clash with our colors. Something Blue
Something Blue - by jossyjos on

I am going today to drop off my 2nd engagement ring so a band can be made. It is going to be a black diamond eternity band, but maybe I'll add a sapphire or two in there to give it that something blue. If not this, then maybe the Mr.'s blue eyes will satisfy that requirement.

What is your something blue?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The fairest of them all

I love love love Snow White. When I was younger my mom used to call me that because my lips were the color of a rose, skin the color of snow, and hair the color of ebony. Ever since then, I have considered Snow a style icon. I rock the red lips and red headband often. This morning, for whatever reason, I decided to dress up as her. I put on a yellow skirt, royal blue tank top, and put the red ribbon in my hair. Then this conversation happened:

The MR.: Hey Snow White. How's it going?
Me: Hey Charming, its going pretty well.
The MR: Good
Me: So, do you have a date to the dance?
The MR.: No
Me: Me neither and I really want to go. I think you should ask me
The MR.: Uh, I have other things to do that night

Suddenly I was offended that Charming messed up my story. For the next 20 minutes I tried to convince him to go to a dance with me- a dance that doesn't exist. He still wasn't having it. It wasn't until I told him that I was going to ask out Cinderella's Charming that he changed his tune. Don't worry, I'm not a boyfriend stealer- Cinderella transfered from Far Far Away High School to Ever After Prepatory.

Anywhoo, it got me thinking about having a Snow White themed wedding. I've mentioned it to the Mr. before but this time I was really considering it. I called my mom and she thought it was a great idea. I quickly got to thinking about all the stuff I could do to make a Snow White wedding. My dress could have a stand up collar, candy apples for everyone, and woodland creatures galore. The colors would be light yellow, red, and a royal blue. The problem is that this is all that I could think of. I watched Snow White on youtube for more inspiration but it left me with nothing. I didn't want to go to extreme because, well, I'm a grown up now, but if I kept it simple I doubt people would get it.

I then decided to make my very own polyvore board. It was my first one ever. It's not much but it's pretty.
The board though didn't make me want to commit to a Snow White theme, but that cute Snow Ice costume will be incorporated into a budoir shoot and I may just wear it to that dance Charming finally agreed to go to.

I like the idea of having an all out Disney wedding though, with my friends dressed as Cinderella, Aurora, and Jasmine too, and my little guy would be Pinnocchio since he's in that fibbing stage now.

Have you ever thought about incorporating your favorite storybook character into your wedding? If so, what details would you have to have?

Friday, March 13, 2009

Go ahead and let it all out.

I'm a supporter of venting- whether it's gushing it out in talk, yelling, screaming, painting, running...whatever. Even though my Spring Break officially starts today this past week has been pretty crappy and I just want to yell and my Song of the Week today reflects that.

"Caught out there" by Kelis has to be the best venting song ever. It's about a failed relationship but the hook makes it the perfect song to vent to- "I hate you so much right now, AAAAAAH." The video here is a funnier version, because who doesn't want to laugh and yell at the same time. Let it all out and Enjoy!

How do you deal with stress or having a bad day?

Oh I can't. I'm on a diet.

Oh I can't. I'm on a diet.

In high school I was 103 lbs. After I had my son I stayed at a good 115 lbs, but then I met the Mr. and went to law school. I gained 20 lbs my first year of law school. I don't know the reason. Maybe it was a delayed "freshman 15" since it was the first time I had left home, maybe I was nesting because I was just really really happy with the Mr., or maybe it was the fact that I was holed up reading casebooks and snacking all day with no exercise at all whatsoever. I think it was a mixture of all 3.

I've never been the workout type because I don't like to sweat. If I start to sweat, I stop doing whatever I was doing until the moment passes. The only exception to this was when I gutted houses in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. My roommates last year dragged me to the gym and it was the first time I had ever worked out. Yes, I said ever. I did really well until I started to sweat and you guessed it, stopped. I did Bikrim Yoga for a while, and liked it. Even with all the heat I never sweated and found that I was pretty flexible. Unfortunately, Bikrim is only an occasional thing. Since I don’t workout, I decided that I needed to come up with a way to lose the extra weight before my wedding. Even though I'm 9 months away, I've already started.

Initially I decided that I could lose all my weight by getting rid of my coke habit. I drank about 6 cans of coke a day. Yes, I said 6 a day. I tried to go diet but yuck, I couldn't. In the end I went diet with other brands like Diet Dr. Pepper and diet Root Beer which has made all the difference. Diet Dr. Pepper and diet Root Beer are so good that they don’t taste like diet. I also started drinking more water, so now I drink maybe 2 cans of pop a day and the rest is water or hot tea, usually green, black, or constant comment. I didn't lose any weight though and knew more had to be done.

I am the first one to admit that I need to change my eating habits. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want. The problem is that now I gain weight when I do that. I wanted a program I could use that would be a) cheap, b) effective, and c) help me change my eating habits and I found one through Medifast.

Medifast is a series of shakes, oatmeals, soups, and bars that are low caloric and high in protein. In total you get around 800-950 calories a day. The catch is though, that you have to eat 6 meals a day: 5 medifast meals and 1 lean and green meal. The lean and green consists of something green like broccoli or a salad, and lean protein like select fish, chicken, or other meats. It is hard to eat 6 meals a day- like really hard, or at least for me it is. That means you have to eat every 2-3 hours. Medifast keeps me full so 2 or 3 hours comes and I'm not even hungry to eat anything yet.

The food isn't totally bad or good. The bars are good and so is the banana pudding. I'm a fan on the cappuccino and hot chocolate and the shakes aren't too bad either. Medifast guarantees a weight loss of 2-5 lbs per week. I lost 10 lbs during my first month.

After a month though, I went off of Medifast and resumed my bad eating habits even though I knew what I had to do- eat small healthy meals every 2-3 hours. Luckily, I haven't gained a pound of my weight back. Although the program is super easy to follow, I just couldn't limit myself to one normal meal a day especially because I'm encouraged to participate in networking opportunities where food is abundant and I swear, I have never been invited to as many lunches as I was while I was on my diet- my response: "Oh I can't. I'm on a diet". I want to get back to 115 lbs before my wedding day so I plan on going back onto Medifast until I lose another 10 to 15 pounds. I'll keep you posted on how well I do and if I decide to try anything else, like sweat.

What are you doing, if anything, to lose extra pounds?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Product Review: Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs

I have great legs. I get compliments on them all the time. My legs are super hott- when I have tights or stockings on. My bare legs however are another story. I sleep itch, which turns into bleeding, which turns into scarring. Sorry for the yucky mental picture.
I chose a great dress from Macy's to wear during the first of my 2 engagement pictures. It stops about an 2 inches above my knees. Originally, I planned on wearing cowboy boots with it but that trend is sort of disappearing so I may just do simple heels and pearl, brass, and gold accessories. Regardless of the shoe or accessories I still have an ugly leg problem. This dress doesn't look good with tights so my old standby wont work.

I thought about maybe getting away with wearing nude pantyhose. This was, and still is, a strong possibility. As long as I choose a color that is close to my own skin tone and is sheer, no one but me, my love, and my photographer will know my secret. Before I resign myself to hose I decided to try leg make-up.

I looked at online reviews of Sally Hansen's Airbrush Legs before I made the purchase. I am such a cheapo that I require myself to do research before I buy something, even if it’s a $13 can of leg makeup. I found many opinions online. Most people liked it and others didn't but most of the people who didn't confused leg makeup with sunless tanner. I try to reserve judgment before calling people dense but I really don't understand how someone could confuse the two, especially considering that the product has no mention of sunless tanning. It does come in different colors- but doesn't all makeup?

Anywho, based on the reviews I decided to fork out $13 and bought a can from my local Walgreens. I decided to do both legs- 1 by spraying on my hands and then applying to my legs and the other by spraying directly on my legs and blending in like some opinionates suggested. I think I got a better application by spraying directly on my legs and blending but you have to be careful because it gets harder to blend correctly if you wait a while so I suggest spraying and blending small sections at a time.

The results turned out like what I would expect from leg makeup. It was very light to the touch though and it didn’t feel like I was wearing makeup but I think I may need more coverage to cover up my scars. I think this product would work well for women who have very minor problems. I tried to apply another coat, like I would do foundation to get more coverage, but at that point it started to look like I was wearing makeup and I didn't want that. After 10 minutes or so I took a white cloth and wiped it against one of my legs to see if the makeup would come off- it didn't! Getting it off in the shower though wasn't pretty- I had to scrub and you could see the makeup run down the drain which is expected I guess.

All in all I think Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs is great for people who have minor leg imperfections. Since I need a little more coverage that what Airbrush Legs can provide me I think I will go back to wearing sheer panty hose with my dress and may wear the leg makeup underneath just to make sure no imperfections show through the hose.

What beauty products have you experimented with? How did it turn out?

Monday, March 9, 2009

About me. About he. About we.

I'm Canadian ay? Not at all, ay. Then, What are you talking aboot? I'm taking about me, he, and we. At first I didn't really know you, and was a little shy, but I feel this crazy chemistry between us. I think after a month of blogging here, I'm ready for you to know more about me, he, and we. So here it goes….(deep breath).

Me. I'm always cold. I make myself laugh. I'm a great mommy.
He. He's always hot. He laughs at me. He's a wonderful daddy.
We. Together we are always the right temperature. We laugh at each other. We are super parents!

Was that enough? Didn't think so. Here we go again. Take 2.

I am a law student in my 2nd year. Originally from the Midwest, I consider myself a Midwestern girl even though I've lived in Florida for almost 10 years now. I'm an only child and I hear that I act like one. My face is the perfect merge between my mom and dad so I resemble them and don't resemble them at the same time. I'm a mommy first and foremost and nothing matters more to me than that little boy. I'm an advocate for equal and civil rights for all people of all nations regardless of their status, classification, religion,race, or sexual preference. I strive to read a newspaper everyday because I have a need to be informed and to know what is going on.I have really long fingers that look like skeletons and thin arms that resemble a praying mantis. I have so many insecurities but am happy with the person I am and ultimately happy with myself. I need to work on patience though.

He is a auto tech at a luxury dealership. He loves his work and he loves me. His mind is super simple and complicated at the same time. He understands things I can't even wrap my head around like physics, time, space, and all things scientific. He fell in a well when he was 2 and was featured on Rescue 911. He has full lips and bright blue eyes- he uses them to make cute faces I can't resist. He stays informed by watching the news daily and cooks every night since other people, ahem, don't know how. He is more efficient and hard working than most people I know. A true mans' man- he can fix and build anything you need which is just so sexy.

Together we click and it is super wonderful. We can't wait until we are super old so we can gross out the younger generation with our PDA!

What about you and your mate? How are you together and individually?

Friday, March 6, 2009

What's in a name? That's not my name!

I was never the girl who would write on her notebook Mrs. Pitt or Mrs. Depp, or even Mrs. Jonathan. Taylor Thomas, oh yeah, I took it there. Why? Because I like my last name. It's different, It's German, and I've never run into anyone with it. I've found some people on facebook with the same last name, but most of them are in Austria. The Mr.'s last name on the other hand is very common. Actually, everything about his name is common- first and last name. If you do a google search for me: you will definitely find me. Him however, no go. There are athletes, movie directors, criminal defendants, you name it!- that all have the same name as him. My last name is also the last in my family line. My father was adopted, never got remarried or had any other kids- so I am the only one. I like to think that this had something to do with the fact that I'm keeping my name, but in reality that had nothing to do with it.

I'm just selfish and I really like my name. Plus, my son has my last name and his full name makes it the preppiest name ever- I did this on purpose because whether you admit it or not, racism still exists in America, and I wanted to at least get his resume looked at. Everyone in my family has "safe" names so I refused to go "experimental" or ethnic for that reason. I tried to convince the Mr. that our future kids should have my last name as well but that discussion didn't go too well.

After we, one of us reluctantly, decided that our future kids could have his last name with no hyphenation of any sort I had to decide if I was going to take the plunge into new name-dom.
Before I made my decision, I considered all my options:
lets pretend my name is Agnes Rolder and his name is John Smith*

- Agnes Rolder-Smith. This was the best possibility I could think of, however that would be a long last name. I knew some kids in high school who had 2 last names. I thought of them and after a while I decided I couldn't go through with it. It would make my last name too long- 15 letters! Every time I would fill out a form half of my name would be cut off. I don't want to even think about how it would look on my drivers license with my 7 letter first name added to the bunch.

Both without the hyphenation- Agnes Rolder Smith. Just as good as the hyphenation, however it means that I would be referred to as Mrs. Smith instead of Rolder Smith and I just don't like his last name. If I was going to add it, I would need my name in there somewhere.

Making a new last name- Rolith. My example name comes out much better than my real name would. This was never really an option though because my hunny loves his name and doesn't want to change it. He actually worked with someone who did this and they both were happy with the new name.

Have him change his name- Mr. Rolder. As mentioned above, hunny loves his name and all the supposed family history that comes with it so that one is a no-go.

I then listed the pros and cons to changing my name:
Pros: New family, symbolism, blah blah blah, and its not like I'm established in my career or anything yet so it wouldn't cause confusion
Cons: I'm no one's property, going though the whole name change process, new name wouldn't sound right, there is always the possibility of divorce that no one wants to think about, I just don't like his name!

Surprisingly, the Mr. took this all very well. I think maybe it's because I've been preparing him since we met. And Mommy dearest is happy because she's been advocating for me to keep my name since we got engaged. I'm sure I'll hear something about it later from my old-school family members but I don't care, as long as there is an understanding between me and him then nothing else should matter, should it?

Real reason I wrote this post?- I wanted to get this song in your head. Today's song of the week is the infectious "That's not my name" by The Ting Tings. Who wouldn't want to dance to this at their wedding? It's just happy! Enjoy!

Are you keeping or changing your name? Was it an easy decision?

*Definitely not even close to our real names.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

You're the right one, baby!

I've already told you how the Mr. proposed but I have yet to tell you how we met, or anything about us for that matter. You'll have to wait to learn anything about us, because today's post is dedicated to how we met. *

I had a group of friends that I had distanced myself from. I started dating my best friend's brother and he didn't like my friends and my friends didn't like him. Between the 2 groups, I chose him mostly because my group of friends started hanging around shady individuals who I did not want to be associated with. Best friend's brother, lets call him Rocco**, was awesome. We got along great- until we started going out. He became verbally abusive and after months of break-up and make-up's I finally called it quits in late May 2004. The day we broke up turned out to be the start of something so much better.

My friend Margarita** invited me to her birthday party. She was not part of the shady group of friends I was trying to get away from, in fact, she was the opposite-- the first one in her family to graduate from college and now she is an RN. (SO PROUD OF YOU!). I decided to go since it had been forever since I had seen her and invited Rocco along. Surprisingly, Rocco agreed to come. I say surprisingly because he had never wanted to be with or around my friends before. We both drove separate cars because he didn't want to stay very long and I felt I owed it to Margarita to stay longer. When we got there though Rocco totally flaked. He didn't want to go and didn't want me to go either. Needless to say, I was peeved. We got into an argument and I just brushed him off and went into the party. By this time though I was in a bad mood because of his behavior but I put a smile on my face for the birthday girl. A few minutes later though Rocco calls my phone and starts calling me names equivalent to a promiscuous woman and female dog*. At that point I just got so mad that I gave Margarita her gift and left the party- I had only been there for probably 15 minutes.

My parents had 2 houses in the same city at the time because they were in the process of selling one . One was way east and the other was way west. Because I didn't feel like going home yet I headed for the West home that no one lived in. I really just wanted to be by myself. Rocco calls to call me more names and I told him I was leaving and going to my West home and I broke up with him for like the 20th time. On my way west I got a phone call from my old group of friends asking me to come by Kelly's** house because she had some friends in town. At this exact point I was right by Kelly's house and agreed to come by. I got there and reunited with everyone since I hadn't seen any of them in months and met Kelly's friends from NJ. There were 3 of them and one caught my eye because he was different. He looked preppy, clean cut, and put together-so he definitely stood out compared to everyone else there. I was definitely attracted to him and after talking to him the attraction just grew stronger.

Then I got a phone call from Rocco. I ignored it. He called a few more times and I ignored each one. I didn't want to talk to him. My phone went dead so I used Kelly's phone to check my messages. No surprise there- it was Rocco calling me more names. He was at my West house waiting for me because I he wanted to talk and I was a ___, a ________, and a _____ for not being there. I was upset but the future Mr. calmed me down and said that no one should ever call me those names, nor make me feel that way, and that I was better without him.

I went home that night and instead of being heartbroken about my 20th breakup with Rocco, I was happy about meeting this wonderful guy. He was awesome. I thought about him all the time. Just thinking about him made me happy. I didn't consider pursuing him any further though because I thought he was going back to NJ. Little did I know, his family had recently moved down here- Is that fate or what? Even though I had just broke up with Rocco, I was ready for a relationship with the Mr. because I had been emotionally single for many many months. Our friends encouraged us to get together so we continued talking, he asked me out a month later, and we've never looked back. As another blogger says, he makes my world glitter.

So many things about this story make me believe that we were meant to be together. 1) The Mr. didn't want to come down to my city that night. He was tired and wanted to stay home but his friends persuaded him. 2)And after not hanging, or wanting to hang out with t his certain group of friends, I finally went over there. 3) I wouldn't have even went over there if it hadn't of been for the fight, the sudden break up, and me already heading in that direction. Perfect phone call at the perfect time. The sad part about this is that I don't even know the date all this happened, I just know it was mid to late May 2004.

As for me and Rocco- we are friends. We were great friends before we started dating and there was no reason that we couldn't be friends after it ended. Relationships are learning experiences and I learned what I needed to in that one. I don't have any ill feelings towards him because he is a great guy, he just wasn't a great guy with me. The Rocco that existed when we were together was not the real Rocco. He even admits that during our relationship he just turned into someone he wasn't and because of it he went and took Anger Management classes. Something about us being together was just toxic. If that isn't proof that 2 people just shouldn't be together I don't know what is. We have gone out to lunch, talked on the phone, and are Facebook friends. And every chance I get I thank him for being such a jerk to me that night, because if it wasn't for that I never would have met the Mr., and if it wasn't for the Mr. I would have probably went back to Rocco. ***

How did you meet your Mr.? How did you know he was the right one?

PG-13 rated version*
Definitely not real names**
*** Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. It took me a very long to realize that my relationship with Rocco was hurting me, even though there were no physical signs. No one should make you feel less than what you are. Please seek help and get out of the relationship, if not for you then for the people around you. You are more important that you will ever know. Sites like can help you realize the warning signs and get you on the road to help.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

All of the Beautiful Colors

Thank goodness for Snippet & Ink. I had a lukewarm love for grey and pale pink. I was going to add hot pink in there and make it my own but I couldn't get past the image of those colors at the beach. They just didn't scream beach to me. If I was going to be anywhere else then those colors would be love, but I wasn't going to change my location just because of a color scheme.

Then Urban Lavender came along and I started to think purples and grey. I had never ever ever ever been a purple fan. I think every color has been my favorite at one point in time but never purple. Purple has been lucky to be in my closet though, because, well, I look good in purple but I'm not a fan.

I could see lavender and grey at the beach. I could see my hunny in a grey suit, vest, and deep purple tie. I could see my bridesmaids in different colored purple dresses. I could see my bouquet as a bunch of lavender stalks. I could see my son with grey pants and a lavender vineyard vines cummerbund and bow tie. All on the beach.

I found my wedding colors! How did you find yours? How many times did you change it before your big day?

Inspiraton Boards via Snippet & Ink

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Anna Maria Island

I'm getting married on Anna Maria Island in sunny ol' Florida. My parents have 6 boutiques: 2 on Anna Maria, 2 on local Bradenton Beach, and another on Longboat Key. Everything about the 7 mile Island is beautiful and laid back so it was an easy choice, plus unlike most islands, this one is unspoiled- meaning there are no high rises, panhandlers, or fast food chains-it's just pure unadulterated Island. Best known for its white sand and beautiful clear blue beaches, it has been the best kept secret of tourists for years but recently the secret has gotten out and more and more people are discovering the Island. It has been featured in magazines like Parade, USA Today, Southern Living, and almost every American vacation magazine.
Movies like the Perfect Storm with George Clooney, Palmetto with Woody Harrelson, and Out of Time with Denzel Washington have been filmed there, and it is known as the "wedding capital" of Florida even though I have never seen an Anna Maria Island wedding featured in a wedding magazine or website. This is partly because Anna Maria is naming itself that. An exact number of weddings per year will never be know though- since Anna Maria is just a municipality and vendors wont divulge any official information.

Because my parents do business on the Island and yes, I used to slave away there, we are trying to keep our vendors as incestuous as possible. I am trying my hardest not to have to go out to mainland for anything except my dress and his suit.
Of course, living 4 hours away in Miami gets in the way when I am trying to pick out venues. I'm going up at the end of March to handle my business so I'll be back with plenty of pictures to share.

One of the best things about the Island- There is a free trolley on the Island so my guests will be set in getting to and from the reception, everything is within walking or bike riding distance, and I'm sure everyone will be excited to spot a Manatee nearby! They are too cute!

For the recent USA Today article on Anna Maria: You can tell how much people love it from the comments, like "Keep AMI our little secret" and "I've traveled quite a lot, but this gem in Fla. Is truly a piece of paradise!"

What is special about the place you are getting married?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Where do I sign?

So I know black people, Jews, immigrants, or any other minority didn't exist back in the late 1800's (If you've read the book Ragtime you know what I mean), but as I've been looking at Victorian marriage certificates I have gotten discouraged with all the white faces and blonde hair I see on the certificates. It's a little disheartening because I love the look of these certificates but even though the men look like the Mr., they don't look like me. And for some reason I have only fallen in love with the certificates that have people on them- I don't know how that happened. If I do decide to go this route, I may have to whip out the black marker and tan colored pencil and color the women in like I used to do with cartoons as a kid.

I've looked into other certificates too. Like Quaker certificates. These are the kind that all of your wedding guests sign. I love that idea because it just adds more significance to that special day, and who knows, one of your guests may turn out to be the next Barack Obama and then you can show people your certificate and say "See, Barack really is my homeboy."

Another type of certificate is a Ketubah. This is the Jewish prenuptial agreement or wedding contract. Although neither of us are Jewish or religious at all, I like this type document, and they happen to be some of the prettiest documents I have ever seen. A Ketubah acts as a blueprint of the marriage and lays out everything, and when I say everything I mean everything. It says how much the husband gives the wife in the event of his death, who is responsible for what duties in the household, and even, ahem, "relations". The Ketubah is signed by the bride, groom, and 2 witnesses. I've been told that it is the most important part of a Jewish wedding ceremony.

I still have yet to decide, and I have quite a while to ponder, but some of the best I've seen are from a site called and some of their designs have interracial couples- yay me! They even have certificates featuring Asians, Hispanics, and ones for the LGBT community which are my favorite. My only hope is that one day soon "commitment certificate" while be changed to "marriage certificate".

Are you thinking about getting a wedding certificate? How did you choose?

papercut Ketubah from

Sunday, March 1, 2009

If they lived to be 100, it still wouldn't be enough

The title of my post is a paraphrase of a comment I saw on a news story about Michelle and Barack Obama's affection for each other. I tried to find the comment but couldn't- it was posted at least 4 months ago, but the commenter basically said that the way they look at each other makes you think that even if they lived to 100, it still wouldn't be enough time. I love that. It makes me think of me and the Mr.

I can't help but be inspired by Michelle and Barack and their family dynamic. Even with all the hoopla they seem incredibly grounded. And don't even get me started on those beautiful girls! I'm like mama bear when it comes to those girls and I don't even know them. "Don't nobody talk bad about them Obama girls. Nobody"

I love the way they treat each other. Unlike other politicans, Barack looks at his wife when she speaks and she him. They treat each other as equals. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you are on, you have to take notice of the fact that this is what true real love looks like. I hope someone sees that in us one day.

What famous relationships inspire you?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Once you go black....

You never go back, yeah yeah yeah- I've heard that one before. In fact, I am a strong supporter of going black in almost everything- shoes, dresses, bags, men, hair color, you name it, but would you go black with your wedding dress? A friend of mine recently brought up black wedding dresses as a trend. I thought she was joking. I mean, I've considered a light colored pink dress or even a peach, but black? I wear black to weddings all the time, but I dont think I could do it if I was the bride! Wouldn't I look like I was going to a funeral?

I did a little research and was suprised by the results- she wasn't joking! This is an actual trend. Designers debuted black dresses in Paris last year and I guess black was a common wedding color pre-1840. Before that time brides chose colored dresses- usually black but that all changed in 1840 when Queen Victoria got married in a white dress.

Considering it, I don't think a) I could pull it off and b) that my mother would let me do it.

If you want to incorporate black into your wedding day without going all the way with a black dress there are a couple things you can do like wearing black gloves, a black veil, black nail polish, or dying your crinoline black instead. As for me, well I plan on having my wedding band made with black diamonds.

Would you ever wear a black dress? Are you incorporating black into your wedding day?

Photos: 1)Photo by Jessica Claire as featured on

The DIY's I wont be able to do

It's no secret that Do It Yourself saves money, and the amount you save depends on the amount you do yourself. I had grand plans in my head of doing almost everything DIY. Even though I have 10 months before the wedding, I am starting to realize that a lot of the things I want to do are unrealistic. At this point, the only DIY I will be doing are: my awesome map/ photobooth save the dates (wait till you see them. Awesome!), fan programs, our guest book- which wont be a book at all, day of wedding decorations, decorating the car, and hor dourves for our cocktail hour which includes making the drinks as well. It makes me a little sad that I don't have the time to do more myself. None of this is set in stone- I may be able to add something as time goes on, or at least I hope so but I have no doubt I can still make my wedding special without all the DIY.

Did you or Will you be able to do everything you wanted to do for your wedding?