I had a group of friends that I had distanced myself from. I started dating my best friend's brother and he didn't like my friends and my friends didn't like him. Between the 2 groups, I chose him mostly because my group of friends started hanging around shady individuals who I did not want to be associated with. Best friend's brother, lets call him Rocco**, was awesome. We got along great- until we started going out. He became verbally abusive and after months of break-up and make-up's I finally called it quits in late May 2004. The day we broke up turned out to be the start of something so much better.
My friend Margarita** invited me to her birthday party. She was not part of the shady group of friends I was trying to get away from, in fact, she was the opposite-- the first one in her family to graduate from college and now she is an RN. (SO PROUD OF YOU!). I decided to go since it had been forever since I had seen her and invited Rocco along. Surprisingly, Rocco agreed to come. I say surprisingly because he had never wanted to be with or around my friends before. We both drove separate cars because he didn't want to stay very long and I felt I owed it to Margarita to stay longer. When we got there though Rocco totally flaked. He didn't want to go and didn't want me to go either. Needless to say, I was peeved. We got into an argument and I just brushed him off and went into the party. By this time though I was in a bad mood because of his behavior but I put a smile on my face for the birthday girl. A few minutes later though Rocco calls my phone and starts calling me names equivalent to a promiscuous woman and female dog*. At that point I just got so mad that I gave Margarita her gift and left the party- I had only been there for probably 15 minutes.
My parents had 2 houses in the same city at the time because they were in the process of selling one . One was way east and the other was way west. Because I didn't feel like going home yet I headed for the West home that no one lived in. I really just wanted to be by myself. Rocco calls to call me more names and I told him I was leaving and going to my West home and I broke up with him for like the 20th time. On my way west I got a phone call from my old group of friends asking me to come by Kelly's** house because she had some friends in town. At this exact point I was right by Kelly's house and agreed to come by. I got there and reunited with everyone since I hadn't seen any of them in months and met Kelly's friends from NJ. There were 3 of them and one caught my eye because he was different. He looked preppy, clean cut, and put together-so he definitely stood out compared to everyone else there. I was definitely attracted to him and after talking to him the attraction just grew stronger.
Then I got a phone call from Rocco. I ignored it. He called a few more times and I ignored each one. I didn't want to talk to him. My phone went dead so I used Kelly's phone to check my messages. No surprise there- it was Rocco calling me more names. He was at my West house waiting for me because I he wanted to talk and I was a ___, a ________, and a _____ for not being there. I was upset but the future Mr. calmed me down and said that no one should ever call me those names, nor make me feel that way, and that I was better without him.
I went home that night and instead of being heartbroken about my 20th breakup with Rocco, I was happy about meeting this wonderful guy. He was awesome. I thought about him all the time. Just thinking about him made me happy. I didn't consider pursuing him any further though because I thought he was going back to NJ. Little did I know, his family had recently moved down here- Is that fate or what? Even though I had just broke up with Rocco, I was ready for a relationship with the Mr. because I had been emotionally single for many many months. Our friends encouraged us to get together so we continued talking, he asked me out a month later, and we've never looked back. As another blogger says, he makes my world glitter. So many things about this story make me believe that we were meant to be together. 1) The Mr. didn't want to come down to my city that night. He was tired and wanted to stay home but his friends persuaded him. 2)And after not hanging, or wanting to hang out with t his certain group of friends, I finally went over there. 3) I wouldn't have even went over there if it hadn't of been for the fight, the sudden break up, and me already heading in that direction. Perfect phone call at the perfect time. The sad part about this is that I don't even know the date all this happened, I just know it was mid to late May 2004.
As for me and Rocco- we are friends. We were great friends before we started dating and there was no reason that we couldn't be friends after it ended. Relationships are learning experiences and I learned what I needed to in that one. I don't have any ill feelings towards him because he is a great guy, he just wasn't a great guy with me. The Rocco that existed when we were together was not the real Rocco. He even admits that during our relationship he just turned into someone he wasn't and because of it he went and took Anger Management classes. Something about us being together was just toxic. If that isn't proof that 2 people just shouldn't be together I don't know what is. We have gone out to lunch, talked on the phone, and are Facebook friends. And every chance I get I thank him for being such a jerk to me that night, because if it wasn't for that I never would have met the Mr., and if it wasn't for the Mr. I would have probably went back to Rocco. ***
How did you meet your Mr.? How did you know he was the right one?
PG-13 rated version*
Definitely not real names**
*** Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. It took me a very long to realize that my relationship with Rocco was hurting me, even though there were no physical signs. No one should make you feel less than what you are. Please seek help and get out of the relationship, if not for you then for the people around you. You are more important that you will ever know. Sites like www.helpguide.org can help you realize the warning signs and get you on the road to help.
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