I took an absolutely horrendous final yesterday and still have another one and a paper to go, but I missed you and what better way to show you my love than to talk about myself some more?
I know we've all heard of the destination wedding and the destination honeymoon but how about the destination bachelorette party? My MOH came up with the idea and suggested it to me and I was surprised and excited all at the same time. I never really considered having a bachelorette party. I just figured I would put on a veil, sash, and go out to a club on South Beach with a group of friends and we would just call it a bachelorette party. My MOH also lives in DC so I didn't actually expect her to plan anything but I was so happy that she thought about it, especially considering the fact that I didn't ask her to be by MOH- I more or less told her that she was going to be my MOH and let her figure out the acronym on her own.
We passed ideas back and forth. She thought New Orleans would be a great place and I agreed considering we had gone 2 years before and loved it so much, but thinking of my friends in law school, the ones who were the most current friends in my life, I realized that it wouldn't be such a great idea. It could work- but its our last year and I doubt any of them would want to travel to New Orleans to party especially when we live in Miami and everyday is an excuse to party around here.
Next idea was a three day cruise. I thought of this for simplicity reasons only- we could leave out of Miami and I would miss at the most 2 days of school. We would go in September or October when missing a day of school isn't that big of a deal and I can work on getting my pale white white legs tan before the wedding. This would be easier for all my law school chicas as well. Only problem, September and October are both during Hurricane Season and all I can think about is Murphy's Law. We haven't figured out yet where this three-day cruise will go to though. I'm just excited that I finally have a reason to get a passport- I'm going to start practicing for my picture right away!
Are there any destinations in your wedding planning future?
My FSIL was married a month ago and her husband dipped her as their first kiss. It was too cute and although me and the Mr. have been practicing the kissing part, the idea of a dip never entered my mind. As soon as I saw it I wanted to do it. Then I was watching one of my all time favorite moves Enchanted and there was a wedding dip in there too- but backwards. The bride dipped the groom! Ummm...awesome. Yes, I thought a reverse dip would be perfect for us. But no. I practiced with the Mr. and he sucks at dipping. He is as stiff as a board and I have come pretty close to breaking his neck during all of this. Going back and trying it the traditional way worked much much better so I guess that is what we will be doing.
I was never the girl who would write on her notebook Mrs. Pitt or Mrs. Depp, or even Mrs. Jonathan. Taylor Thomas, oh yeah, I took it there. Why? Because I like my last name. It's different, It's German, and I've never run into anyone with it. I've found some people on facebook with the same last name, but most of them are in Austria. The Mr.'s last name on the other hand is very common. Actually, everything about his name is common- first and last name. If you do a google search for me: you will definitely find me. Him however, no go. There are athletes, movie directors, criminal defendants, you name it!- that all have the same name as him. My last name is also the last in my family line. My father was adopted, never got remarried or had any other kids- so I am the only one. I like to think that this had something to do with the fact that I'm keeping my name, but in reality that had nothing to do with it.
I'm just selfish and I really like my name. Plus, my son has my last name and his full name makes it the preppiest name ever- I did this on purpose because whether you admit it or not, racism still exists in America, and I wanted to at least get his resume looked at. Everyone in my family has "safe" names so I refused to go "experimental" or ethnic for that reason. I tried to convince the Mr. that our future kids should have my last name as well but that discussion didn't go too well.
After we, one of us reluctantly, decided that our future kids could have his last name with no hyphenation of any sort I had to decide if I was going to take the plunge into new name-dom. Before I made my decision, I considered all my options: lets pretend my name is Agnes Rolder and his name is John Smith* Hyphenating- Agnes Rolder-Smith. This was the best possibility I could think of, however that would be a long last name. I knew some kids in high school who had 2 last names. I thought of them and after a while I decided I couldn't go through with it. It would make my last name too long- 15 letters! Every time I would fill out a form half of my name would be cut off. I don't want to even think about how it would look on my drivers license with my 7 letter first name added to the bunch.
Both without the hyphenation- Agnes Rolder Smith. Just as good as the hyphenation, however it means that I would be referred to as Mrs. Smith instead of Rolder Smith and I just don't like his last name. If I was going to add it, I would need my name in there somewhere.
Making a new last name- Rolith. My example name comes out much better than my real name would. This was never really an option though because my hunny loves his name and doesn't want to change it. He actually worked with someone who did this and they both were happy with the new name.
Have him change his name- Mr. Rolder. As mentioned above, hunny loves his name and all the supposed family history that comes with it so that one is a no-go.
I then listed the pros and cons to changing my name: Pros: New family, symbolism, blah blah blah, and its not like I'm established in my career or anything yet so it wouldn't cause confusion Cons: I'm no one's property, going though the whole name change process, new name wouldn't sound right, there is always the possibility of divorce that no one wants to think about, I just don't like his name!
Surprisingly, the Mr. took this all very well. I think maybe it's because I've been preparing him since we met. And Mommy dearest is happy because she's been advocating for me to keep my name since we got engaged. I'm sure I'll hear something about it later from my old-school family members but I don't care, as long as there is an understanding between me and him then nothing else should matter, should it?
Real reason I wrote this post?- I wanted to get this song in your head. Today's song of the week is the infectious "That's not my name" by The Ting Tings. Who wouldn't want to dance to this at their wedding? It's just happy! Enjoy!
Are you keeping or changing your name? Was it an easy decision?
So I know black people, Jews, immigrants, or any other minority didn't exist back in the late 1800's (If you've read the book Ragtime you know what I mean), but as I've been looking at Victorian marriage certificates I have gotten discouraged with all the white faces and blonde hair I see on the certificates. It's a little disheartening because I love the look of these certificates but even though the men look like the Mr., they don't look like me. And for some reason I have only fallen in love with the certificates that have people on them- I don't know how that happened. If I do decide to go this route, I may have to whip out the black marker and tan colored pencil and color the women in like I used to do with cartoons as a kid.
I've looked into other certificates too. Like Quaker certificates. These are the kind that all of your wedding guests sign. I love that idea because it just adds more significance to that special day, and who knows, one of your guests may turn out to be the next Barack Obama and then you can show people your certificate and say "See, Barack really is my homeboy."
Another type of certificate is a Ketubah. This is the Jewish prenuptial agreement or wedding contract. Although neither of us are Jewish or religious at all, I like this type document, and they happen to be some of the prettiest documents I have ever seen. A Ketubah acts as a blueprint of the marriage and lays out everything, and when I say everything I mean everything. It says how much the husband gives the wife in the event of his death, who is responsible for what duties in the household, and even, ahem, "relations". The Ketubah is signed by the bride, groom, and 2 witnesses. I've been told that it is the most important part of a Jewish wedding ceremony.
I still have yet to decide, and I have quite a while to ponder, but some of the best I've seen are from a site called galleryoflove.net and some of their designs have interracial couples- yay me! They even have certificates featuring Asians, Hispanics, and ones for the LGBT community which are my favorite. My only hope is that one day soon "commitment certificate" while be changed to "marriage certificate".
Are you thinking about getting a wedding certificate? How did you choose?
