The following post is not wedding related. This bar is from my journal entry taken the day before bar exam results are posted. I thought it would be helpful to all the future bar examiners out there.
Tomorrow is the big day! I'm so nervous, I really don't want to know but work is making us check the second they come out. Literally. They have told us that we can't wait until the end of the day, or when we get back from court. When they are posted, we have to leave the courtroom and go check. Borrow someone's iphone but check. They will come by our courtrooms to make sure we checked. And then we have to let them know. I get it, but I want to be able to check it when I am ready. For the past month or so I've been slowly convincing myself that maybe I passed. Or at least maybe I passed one part. I've been doing a little bit of math each day- well if I got a 60 on this essay, and a 50 on this one, and a 50 on this one, that may be like 15 or 20 more than I needed to pass the essay section so that can help me on the multiple choice....
I've even been convincing myself that failure is okay, because it totally is. I only learn from things after I fail from them, but I just really don't want to fail. I really don't want to have to pay for another hotel room and take time off work and go through the embarrassment because everyone at work will know that I'm the one who failed. Plus, I didn't finish all the Kaplan assignments because that would be impossible, but I wonder if I can still get the free course for February.
No reason in worrying about the free class yet. Everything will be seen tomorrow.